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Going Flying?

  Tips on aviation.

 When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

 Blue Sea Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
there are submarines in the sky.

 Never trade luck for skill.

 The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in
aviation are, "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and " Oh, shit!".

 Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

 Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a
pilot pregnant.

 Airspeed, altitude, or brains. Two are always needed to
successfully complete the flight.

 A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three
in a row is prevarication.

 I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

 Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up
there!

 If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's
probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

 Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like
squatting to piss.

 Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight
to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything
about it.

 When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was
forgotten.

 Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral
will be on a sunny day.

 Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash)
seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in
the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible. The Piper Cub is the safest
airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max
Stanley, Northrop test pilot).

 A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his
plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut).

 If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into
the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic pilot)

 If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride
the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)

 Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil
For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71
operating location Kadena, Japan)

 You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.Crickmore - test pilot)

 Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

 The re is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.(sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

 The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.(Author unknown, but someone who's been there)

 "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain
trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

 What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

 Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive
flying club.

 If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

 Basic Flying Rules

  1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
  2. Do not go near the edges of it.
  3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

 You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
full power to taxi to the terminal.

 

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